Salt for Slugs Magazine, Zen Guerrilla Interview

DYNAMITE HACK BY SHARA SPRECHER

So I played a little game of 20 questions with the charming boys in Dynamite Hack. They currently have left Austin to live it up on a national tour to promote Superfast, their latest release. After eating donuts, here are their personable responses. SFS: Your name? Chad: My full name is Chad Christophe Robitussin, but I prefer to be called blinky. Mark: My full name is Mark Morris, but I prefer to be called Mark. Mike: My full name is Mike. SFS: Who has been the coolest person that you have met since being on the road? Chad: Tim, the bassist from Rage Against the Machine/ this guy calling himself 'White Rabbit' in Dallas..toss up. Mark: Tripp Wiggins Mike: Our hotel room maid in Baltimore.
	SFS: Who did you meet that you just wished you hadn't? Chad: This really hot chick named Jamie working at the farmclub tent in d.c....because she was so hot that I haven't been able to do anything but sit around and jerk off to the thought of her. I barely have time to do this. Mark: Tripp Wiggins--He makes me feel like I'll never be cool enough. Mike: Nobody really. SFS: What was the biggest prank that you have ever pulled? Chad: Dynamite Hack. Mark: The Dreaded Dutch Oven. Mike: I'm not much of a prankster but I am a gangster, 'cause gangsters treat their ladies right while pranksters curse their chickless plight. SFS: What is the best pick up line you have ever heard? Chad: "Can you point me in the direction of the free clinic?" Mark: Hey, I'm Chad from Dynamite Hack. Mike: Hey, I'm Chad from Dynamite Hack. SFS: A train leaves London at 4:02 pm, while at the same time a small jet takes off headed West. What is your favorite color? Chad: Is the jet leaving from London also? Blue. Mark: Blue Mike: Jesus Christ....
SFS: What do you think about before you fall asleep at night? Chad: Did I wipe it all up? Did I hit the pillow? Mark: My golf swing and how much it reminds me of fresh soap. Mike: Warm fuzzy things SFS: What is your favorite way to waste time? Chad: I wouldn't call it "wasting" time. Mark: Playing in this band. Mike: Thinking about warm fuzzy things SFS: What is the greatest thing that has happened to you since the band has gotten exposure? Chad: No more sandwich-makin'. Mark: I got to meet Jimmy Pop from The Bloodhound Gang Mike: I got to buy a brand new guitar and getting free drugs.
SFS: What is the weirdest encounter you have had with a fan thus far? Chad: White Rabbit. I think he wants to kill Mark and take his place in the band. Mark: This cat named White Rabbit in Dallas was following us around and wouldn't leave us alone and he kept telling us the most fucked up shit. I think he was tripping on acid or something. Mike: Having them want me to sign an autograph in general. SFS: What is the most memorable run-in you have had with a cop? Chad: In L.A., this cop pulled me ove and saw that I had a surfboard (a broken one) in the bed of my truck. He asked me where I broke it, told me the surf forecast for the week and wished me luck in getting a new one before the swell was gone. Nice fella. Mark: One time Charlie Sheen and I were ripping it up big time and this hooker walked in the room looked at me and...oh wait, I'm not really allowed to talk about this story until the legal issues are cleared up...you understand. Mike: One time, I was playing guitar in my apartment bedroom at like 2 in the morning on a weekday. I was playing through a Marshall half-stack and it was fucking loud. The cops busted in to my room to find me sitting in front of the speakers with nothing on but two q-tips, stuck in my ears because it was just too loud.
SFS: Where do you see yourself five years from now? Chad: In the mirror. Just like now. Oh, ..and in pictures too. Mark: I have no idea. Mike: On the silver screen. SFS: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Chad: How much wood would a woodchuck fuck? Because they CAN fuck wood you know. It's true. look it up. Mark: 11 pounds. Mike: Fuck off j/k Shara. (writers note: hee hee) SFS: What CD's are you currently listening to? Chad: Melvins (stonerwitch), Bobudgreene (whatever), The The (naked self), My Bloody Valentine (loveless). Mark: Elliot Smith's Figure 8...Pavement's entire catalogue...Built to Spill's entire catalogue...The Olivia Tremor Control's Music From the Unrealized Film Script: Dust at the Cubist Castle Mike: The Melvins, The Melvins, Olivia Tremor Control, Hidden Speaker, uh...um...oh yeah The Melvins. SFS: What's your favorite kind of donut? Chad: Donut holes. Mark: Glazed donut centers Mike: I don't like donuts. SFS: What is the strangest thing you have in your room? Chad: A banana. Mark: I have a four post bed that has a speaker on each post so I have stereo surround sound in that biotch. Mike: It¹s not strange to me if it¹s in my room. SFS: If your life had a theme song, what would it be? Chad: "Oh lord it's hard to be humble" by Mac Davis. Mark: "Just another day" by Vallejo. Mike: I don't know, dude. SFS: What is your biggest secret? Chad: My superfluous nipple Mark: I really love Vallejo. Mike: um... SFS: Any other items of interest that you would like to add? Chad: Yes, I would just like to say that no matter what they say or do to convince you otherwise, you should NEVER..EVER give an exgirlfriend another chance or even the time of day.. because they got filed under 'evil, untrustable bitch' for a reason. Hi mom. Mark: I have nothing more to add myself except this little nugget of advice.... Put down this magazine, go out to the store, and buy our record...do it for us.... do it for yourself....do it for your country...your country wants you to. (lifted from the climatic moment in "Grease 2" deep in the makeout bunker when one of those scallywag T-Birds is trying to score some cock-rocking 'tang.) Mike: um... um... No.